Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Be who you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

How are max different from medical and minimum security prisons?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

The Cause of Alzheimer's Might Be Coming From Within Your Mouth - ScienceAlert

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Don't Make This Mistake When Setting Up Your Switch 2 - Kotaku

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

My religion teacher said that there are no atheists because in order to reject God, you must first have a concept of God, and if you have a concept of God, you are not an atheist. In what way is this true, if at all? Why?

The sadness was still there.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of fighting.

More seniors are using cannabis than ever before despite health risks, research shows - Fox News

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Increased screen time linked to aggression, anxiety, low self-esteem in kids, study finds - ABC News

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Remainder of Bonnaroo 2025 canceled in Tennessee due to severe weather - CNN

It’s here now, writing to you.

I had run out of hope.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Cloudy skies can’t dim joy as thousands fill nation’s capital for World Pride parade - AP News

And the sadness?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

36-year-old sold her childhood home in Wisconsin to live and travel in a truck she spent $50,000 renovating: 'I don't have a single regret' - CNBC

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s still here.